My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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