Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
