Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
