roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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