hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
