fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize