I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
