how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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