Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
