You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Randomize
