i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize