Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
