it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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