Porn is love you can see.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So apparently I’m into choking now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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