I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i drank out of a bidet.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
