you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
