I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Can I color on your dick again?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
