I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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