Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
