I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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