i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
