nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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