We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize