Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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