i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
