just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
