is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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