Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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