things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
