Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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