as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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