Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
