Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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