why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
