Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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