oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
