i think my mom watched the whole time
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
