why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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