I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
