'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
