if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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