Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize