He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
