i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
