There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
