Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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