I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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