You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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