Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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