You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
