I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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