wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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