Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
