STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
