For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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