just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize