Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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